Reiko Eoh

No matter how much explaining Democratic Senator Evan Bayh does about retiring from the senate, there is simply no explaining away how clueless he appeared announcing it on Presidents’ Day. Obviously he wanted to go out with as much pomp and circumstance that he could for himself, or he would have at least waited a day.

Thus, we watched Senator Bayh give his last parting gift to the president – a president he served from his own party. At best, it was horribly rude; at worst, it was the most boneheaded move anyone could think of. (Apologies to Sarah Palin for saying “boneheaded.” Who knows what will tick her off.)

Regardless if he weighed his chances for reelection and concluded it was best for him to retire, couldn’t he have done it with some dignity and class by waiting until the time was right?

Bayh’s blather about, “I do not love Congress,” and “There is too much partisanship, and not enough progress,” only speaks of his own failures as a senator. Does he really believe he can dust his hands of the problems in Congress and magically turn into a spectator? Any criticism he has about Congress goes right back to the source of the problem – himself. He was there, wasn’t he? Or was he the quintessential “warm  body?”

I hope he enjoyed the limelight yesterday making his big announcement about his decision to retire.  Because today in retrospect, he just magnified his weakness as a senator, and worse, he magnified his lack of common sense as a loser.

Well I wasn’t too far off in my predictions of President Obama’s strategy and the outcome of the State Of The Union Address (SOTU). The tweets I did were around 7:00 p.m. last night:

In for a short tweet. I think the Prez will do all right in his #SOTU.    (about 13 hours ago from web)

Despite negative speculation, I think Obama’s #SOTU address will actually OBLIGATE party Dems to carry out responsibilities & pull together. (about 13 hours ago from web)

Re: #SOTU: After losing MA, the timing of Obama’s #SOTU, is probably good for the Dem party – will settle Dem’s fears. And fears of country  (about 13 hours ago from web)

#SOTU: Prez likely agenda: Review what he inherited yr ago, current economy, why need HCR, new jobs creation, adjustmnts 2 budget & no fear  (about 13 hours ago from web)

#SOTU: Republican’s Response: Instill fear in people in the economy. Stress unemployment and HCR to start over.  (about 13 hours ago from web)

Yes, I hear you, I was a little off on the republican response. Republican spokesman and VA Governor, Bob McDonnell’s main argument was too much spending.

I should also add that my closing tweet after the State Of The Union Address was this:

Well I hope Obama got his team back… Ha, until tomorrow!   (about 9 hours ago   from web)

©January 2010 Reiko Eoh

Last Tuesday, while democrats were bemoaning throughout the chambers of congress over the loss of Ted Kennedy’s senate seat to republican Scott Brown, President Obama must have realized a deeper problem. The problem was bigger than Health Care Reform being reexamined again. It was bigger than GOP Scott Brown becoming the new “41^st vote.” The much bigger problem reared its ugly head precisely when Obama thought it couldn’t get worse. No doubt, what ran through President Obama’s mind while observing the antics of his fellow democrats was, “What the hell is wrong with these guys!? I’m stuck with a bunch of losers! How the hell am I going to get anything done with these weenies!?”

The Democratic Party is like a really, really bad sports team. They are so bad that even when they have the advantage over their opponents, they go out of their way to sabotage themselves just so they can resort to being losers again. They’re practically saying, “Please take our win because we have no idea how to win as a team.” If I were Obama, I would feel like switching parties just because the democrats absolutely suck as a team.

Prior to becoming president, Obama thought all his party needed was to learn a little savvy, and carry a big game plan. He calculated that with a plan, all he needed to do was communicate the logic of the plan to fellow democrats and have them all on board to execute it as a unified front. In his mind, momentum will pick up and be on your side – as in sports – and with a little luck, everything clicks. Yes we can.

Sure we can. Try explaining an overall success plan with intangible rewards to members of congress and right before your eyes, you will actually see the vault door creaking shut in their minds. As far as they’re concerned, without any guarantees, it’s all nonsense, so momentum, and setting a “magic” deadline for results is fortune-telling mumbo0jumbo. To them, succesful results happen when they are good and ready, and at whatever time they are good and ready – which was almost never.

There is nothing like 100 percent hindsight to fully understand an opportunity after it’s too late. Surely now the democratic members of congress know why President Obama insisted last year that he should have a Health Care Reform (HCR) Bill on his desk before the August legislative recess. Had they done that, Health Care Reform would be on its way to becoming reality by now, and the uproar a distant memory. People would be realizing that Health Care Reform wasn’t the big scary monster that they thought it would be, and everyone would be for the better right now. How can people work, and pay taxes, if they are sick or worried sick? Simple common sense.

If the HCR game plan wasn’t a good enough reason for Obama to have the bill on his desk last year, there was another more obvious reason why President Obama wanted it before the ‘09 summer recess. All you had to do was just look at all the democratic congressmen and women. Democratic representatives were whining, “Slow-down, Mr. President, you’re moving too fast!” From President Obama’s perspective, he’s staring at them thinking, “Slow-down!? Have you guys looked in the mirror lately!? One of you might just suddenly fall out of your chair and croak! And with our party’s luck, we’d have five of you croaking at once!”

Alas, President Obama and the Democratic Party now find themselves in a bigger quagmire – they’ve lost the momentum. They have lost ground and problems are coming in faster than being solved.

Now with the Supreme Court ruling last Thursday allowing corporations limitless spending on political campaigns, President Obama immediately responded that he would have his administration “work immediately with Congress on this issue” and “talk with bipartisan congressional leaders to develop a forceful response to this decision.”

The 5-4 ruling by the Supreme Court was appalling. The five Republican Justices who voted to overturn the previous ruling – Anthony Kennedy, Chief Justice John Roberts, Samuel Alito, Antonin Scalia, and Clarence Thomas – were aware that the balance would tilt in favor of big corporations, yet claimed finance limits on political campaigns violates the First Amendment free-speech rights of corporations. Obviously the free-speech rights of big money trumped free-speech rights of individuals.

Some corporations even came out against the ruling as well and are fighting against lifting the ban. It turns out they want limits too. Even they are unwilling to pay more for their already highly-funded candidates to carry out their business agenda.

Sadly however, the corporations that are balking are not the humongous big money companies such as Big Oil. The overturning of limiting campaign spending by the five Republican Justices was clearly a show of them thumbing their noses at the 14th Amendment to the Constitution of Individual Freedom. The GOP justices need to be held in check.

Thank goodness for President Obama. The Democratic Party may not be the party with a winning attitude, but they are the party with a conscience. Their miscues and missteps, and seemingly hapless and hopeless demeanor, is still better than the GOP’s big Wall St. corporations, shelling out money to convince you –yes, you – that the GOP is just like you. Think about it.

© January 2010 Reiko Eoh

Hallelujah world, we made it to the future. Despite the plethora of doomsday movies over the years, the planet is still intact, and we are still shopping at malls.

So who’s feeling foolish now? The reality of 2010 is far from any single futuristic, disaster film of the past – no, it’s more like ten of them rolled into one; it’s just the other shoe hasn’t dropped yet.

But actually, we have adjusted rather well hopping along on one shoe – mainly because we refuse to give up on getting the other one back! That’s the spirit that will turn our frown, upside down. Such is life in the U.S. today; a mega-packed action/thriller/drama with so many twists and turns, one can only wonder: How will this epic saga end?

Well here is what my happy final episode would be: The Armageddon Greyhound Bus arrives to pick up all the Teabaggers. Everyone rejoices because it’s a win-win for all. The bus then drives off into the sunset, and we all proceed to live happily ever after. Hallelujah!

Anything is possible.

Nonetheless, imagine life back in 1999 B.B. (Before Bush). Who would have predicted that today, while the nation works through two wars, an economic meltdown, fears of terrorism and dire environmental crises, the biggest headline news for weeks would be – golfer Tiger Woods and his personal problems? And that his personal problems would climax on Thanksgiving Day with such dramatic finality, that we would – for once – be thankful we weren’t in his shoes?

And worse, just as we cleared our sullied minds of Woods, along comes actor Charlie Sheen, who, on Christmas Day, gave his wife the lasting gift of domestic abuse. Hey Charlie, just wait until she gets a golf lesson from Elin Woods!

But no doubt the Woods/Sheen holiday fiascos could have been worse. Just imagine if Woods and Sheen had hooked up with each other to become best buddies. Yes, that’s right; allow your mind to finish the joke.

Fortunately the world is still turning, and life in America can continue as a magical Disney World with lots of Michael Bay-like sensational tabloid explosions. It’s become the American way: Our world is simply about one’s ego; where facts mean little and truth is mere perception.  Which explains why people today have become Daffy, and standards have become Mickey Mouse!

That said, here is the real 2010, with several movies strung together for what is our mega-blockbuster reality. Do I see a Tarantino sequel on the horizon?

Think of all the futuristic movies of the past, and the result is our reality today: A progressive “2001: A Space Odyssey,” combined with a regressive “Planet Of The Apes.” The tension heightens when a totally outrageous, unqualified character is introduced into the story line as a U.S. president; as the case of George W. Bush, who stunningly does more damage to the country than Chauncey Gardiner in “Being There.” This character would also be obscenely lucky, and have an incredibly cagey ability to receive orchestrated help from a team of public relations people who seemed almost straight out of the movie,  “Wag The Dog.”

So thanks to the “strategery” of the Decider president, the U.S. finds itself facing issues more serious and numerous than any movie ever made. The results are greater economic problems than in the movie, “Wall St.,” as well as the continuing horror of livestock and agriculture practices that have actually turned the food industry into ghastly manufacturing plants of human “feed”, as revealed in the documentary, “Food Inc.” (Amazingly, it is much closer to the movie,  “Soylent Green” than I could have imagined.)

Meanwhile, we have our own “Morgan Freeman, Deep Impact” president, President Obama, but thankfully, no meteors are heading toward Earth right now. But we do have the more imminent crises of global warming, with its extreme weather conditions as in “The Day After Tomorrow.” And, who knows, perhaps an unexpected visitor may pay us a visit, a la, “E.T.” Now that would be cute!

All of this is enough to make you want to take Howard Beale’s advice in “Network” and crack open a window to shout to the world, “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore.”

Relax. It’s never as bad as you think. We’ll probably end up like Woody Allen, in the movie, “Sleeper,” who unknowingly becomes cryonically frozen, but comes back 200 years later to fall in love with Diane Keaton. Or maybe we’ll wind up like Mike Meyers and Heather Graham, going through a time machine and coming back as “Austin Powers” and his girlfriend, in an awesome 60’s time warp to find peace and love – among other things. Now how cool would that be?

But perhaps a little caveat might do well here: In case you decide to go the cryonics route, you might want to do a thorough background check of the laboratory first, because, well you know, Ted Williams…uh-huh, enough said.

© January 8, 2010 Reiko Eoh

At first it was funny. The news of Tiger Woods crashing his car, with vague bits of information flying about that eventually came together to reveal that possibly his wife, Elin, in a fit of rage and upset about “transgressions”, lost it, and found herself beating him with a nine-iron before he crashed into, first, a fire hydrant, and then a tree. Okay, well, maybe it wasn’t so funny, but the image of Tiger Woods being beaten to a pulp and looking like Wile E. Coyote folded up like an accordion was hard to forget.

The public had its twisted little fun and it should have ended there. But then the news media couldn’t leave well enough alone.  It dug deeper, and just had to locate all of the “transgressors” involved.

So the story goes on. It is now two weeks and counting. What I want to know is: Why can’t journalists do as good a job investigating hard news as they do digging up dirt on people’s personal lives?

It’s one thing for the media to report Tiger’s accident, quite another to report and interview the numerous bimbos coming out of the woodwork claiming they had affairs with him.

I thought for a moment that maybe calling the women bimbos was too harsh. At one point I said, well, what if Tiger’s first paramour just got caught up in a situation she couldn’t control? Who am I to judge? I’m talking about the P.R. woman from New York, who initially planned to hold a press conference with her sleazy attorney, Gloria Allred, but then cancelled it at the last minute. Sure, Woods must have paid her off, any fool would know that, but what if it was just one of those unfortunate situations?

As it turns out, she is a bimbo. Recently, she was seen on the news, being followed by a reporter and a cameraman as she walked down the street in skin-tight leggings, holding on to a new boy toy. While the camera was taping, she approached her apartment and realized she didn’t have her key. Well, no problem. She climbed up over her balcony and broke in. That seemed like bimbo action to me.

In the meantime, Tiger Woods’ former friend, Jesper Parnevik added his opinion on his “friend’s” affairs. He felt a need to tell the world what a bad guy he thinks Tiger is, and that he regrets ever having introduced him to Elin. Well, Parnevik turned out to be kind of a jerk himself by dissing a friend while he’s down. Just wait and see what happens to him if the couple patches things up.

Then, as if Tiger’s wife, Elin, didn’t have enough problems, her mother comes to visit, collapses at their home, and was rushed by ambulance to the hospital. Mom is so not helping.

And all the while, the news media are calling in their analysts to comment on Tiger’s gameplay on the course of life. All the P.R. and marketing people advise that Tiger’s best approach would be to come out, explain himself ASAP and put it behind him before he starts losing more endorsements. Psychiatrists weigh in and advise immediate treatment for his sex addiction. Even Tiger’s bimbos are giving their analysis and advice on his lovemaking and relationship problems.

No one is without advice for Tiger, so here is mine: Hey Tiger, you’re way too serious. It’s not like you molested children (or at least I hope not), so you still have a chance. Hire yourself a joke writer and come out on Letterman or Oprah and say, “Yes, I screwed up. That’s right, you heard me, I have had sex with other women, and I screwed up.” Then make jokes about it and browbeat yourself. People love that stuff. This is good advice; trust me.

In the meantime, let me help you by coming out with a vid and posting it on YouTube. I’m practicing my crying jag right now:  “Leave Tiger Woods Alone! Please! He’s a human being! You’re all lucky he plays golf for you, you bastards! Leave him alone!”

Don’t worry, Tiger, just get well soon. You can pay me later.

Forget about any moderation in the U.S.; it’s our civic duty to push everything to the point of bizarre. Take freedom for example, now we have a whole new level of freedom — the freedom to be as stupid as we wanna be. “Stupid” is now the new “smart.” If you have potential to be “outrageously stupid,” congratulations, you could go far. You could become a millionaire with your own reality show, or a TV/radio talk show host, maybe a news anchor, or a politician or maybe even president of the United States! The more outrageously dense you are, the more potential you have for hitting it big! Goodness, are you still using your brain? What are you, stupid!?

Turn off and dumb-down. Why do you think when President Obama planned to give school children a pep talk to study hard on their first day of school that some parents and teachers refused to have the children listen to his speech? Those adults knew that being smart would only lead to children working harder! Why work when you can be rich and famous just by being an obnoxious dolt? Barack Obama may be the Commander-In-Chief, but so was George Bush. Now admit it: Between the two, who has more money and fun? Heh, heh, heh!

And speaking of who’s having more fun: Just when you think you’ve seen it all, guess who’s sticking his tongue at us (literally!) on TV — none other than former GOP House Speaker, Tom Delay, on Dancing With The Stars. I had hoped to be entertained; instead I was being grossed out by Tom Delay’s dance stylings of shaking his booty and having his icky hands all over two-time champion, Cheryl Burke. He had to mention that his demands were met to get her as his dance partner. Eeeww. Watching him dance makes me want to shower.

“The Hammer” as he was called in congress, is indicted by a Texas grand jury on criminal charges of conspiracy to violate campaign finance laws. It has been three years now, and the prosecutor has yet to bring the case before a jury. Yes, even he’s dumbfounded, no doubt.

Turn the channel and surprise: Former GOP governor Sarah Palin is on the news. She’s in Hong Kong addressing finance professionals as the keynote speaker at the annual conference of brokerage investment group CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets. Previous speakers at this conference were Alan Greenspan, Bill Clinton and Al Gore. Hey, who needs brains when you’re Sarah Palin? The world is her oyster bar to slurp up.

Then the heckler that refuses to get out of our face, GOP Representative, Joe Wilson is keeping us posted on his success. Thus far, he’s collected $2 million for deriding the president in his childish “town hall” outburst. But wait, now he has an action figure too. That’s right, a Joe Wilson doll programmed to utter, “You Lie!” selling for $39.95. Truly a must have for every child: A heckling “You Lie!” non-action action figure.

If you still think it pays to be smart in life, just see how much more it pays to be an absolute doofus. Reality show, soon-to-be-divorced couple, Jon and Kate Plus 8, is the perfect example. They have earned more just by being their screwed up selves, having their screwed up lives with their eight children being filmed in front of millions to gawk and admire. Kate is bent on continuing her Hollywood lifestyle regardless of how it affects the children’s well-being, and Jon is simply running around like a dog trying to be with as many women as possible. Can someone please tell him not every woman is a fire hydrant.

Nonetheless, they have eight children to send to college…wait a second, if dumb is the new smart, the children have no need for college. There you go — more money for mom and Rover.

So stop being a fool asking smart questions when brain-numbing questions are the trend now. Even news reporters know, asking a freaking foolish question over and over again, will eventually land the important, “gotcha!” slip up from the person being interviewed. Catty remarks are always better than facts. Boring facts do nothing for enquiring minds.

Therefore, here’s to us all for pushing freedom of speech and civil rights to glorious heights of bombastic absurdity. So-called values such as dignity, ethics, morals and proper etiquette require too much thinking. Puh-leeze! Stop thinking so much; why waste time? Intelligence is out; stupidity is in. Until people stop being rewarded for being as stupid as they wanna be, acting stupidly holds more promise than responsible consciousness. Oh-oh, I’m starting to feel an urge to heckle already!

Enough is enough. GOP conservatives are pushing the envelope with their boorish, childish behavior. What makes them think it is acceptable in civilized society to act irresponsibly and express any unfiltered negative thought that runs through their minds? Isn’t part of being a mature adult the ability to be respectful of others and not behave like bratty children, yelling and screaming and saying whatever mean, ugly notion they can think of just to get their way? Is this what we want our children to aspire to as adults – that it’s fine to behave like big bratty children and never grow up?

How disrespectful of the GOP conservatives to spread a malicious campaign about President Obama’s speech to schoolchildren being a political ploy to indoctrinate them for political gain. There is nothing wrong, and everything right about the President of The United States telling children on their first day back at school to study hard and do well. Former Presidents Reagan and George Bush senior did the same. Where was the uproar over their speech to school children back then? Why the uproar now?

And where are all the weenie democrat lawmakers on this? Why aren’t they speaking out and standing behind their president on what would be a good example to children to do well in school? They should be outraged by the ridiculous antics the conservative GOP are pulling, while they just stand by and watch. Are lame democrats doing their civic duty by allowing GOP conservatives to create chaos in the U.S.? When will they take control and fight the outlandish disrespectful behavior?

GOP conservative talk radio & TV show hosts the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck and Bill O’Reilly are the worst examples of adults behaving like brats. What’s worse is that they behave as though spreading ugly, negative thoughts is fine, and they have a right to say whatever nonsense they can think of just for their own giddy pleasure. This is understandable behavior from children, but not adults who should have the maturity to conduct themselves as such. These people are regressing and taking the country down with them.

And don’t give me any hogwash about God telling them to behave in this atrocious manner. Blaming God for one’s bratty behavior is a poor excuse for wanting to act like an imbecile. Shame on them. I would like to know what God they are praying to that accepts such abominable conduct?

My God is a loving God that tells me to respect others, and not to be mean, ugly and wish ill will on others. This is from the bible – GOP conservatives claim to be religious Christians, but can God really be happy with such mean-spirited behavior? It would do well for those claiming to be religious to read the bible – and understand it. There is absolutely no excuse for such irresponsible, child-like behavior, unless they are children.

To the democrat & the respectable GOP lawmakers, I say it is time to lead the country and teach citizens to act as respectful, responsible adults! It is your civic duty to take control over the chaos that the wayward conservative republicans are creating and bring order and dignity to the nation again. This, I repeat, is your civic duty. Shame on those politicians that continue to stand by and allow a boorish few to create havoc and bring down the nation with such blatant disrespect.

Do it for the children, because what they are seeing is that there is no need to grow up and take responsibly for their actions. If errant adults can do it and become feared and famous, then why can’t they?